РУССКИЕ ВИНОВАТЫ! BLAME THE RUSSIANS!
Let’s see if I’ve got this right. The Russians finagled with our elections and got Trump elected. Check. The Russians doped up the Olympics and won all the best medals. Check. The Russians conspired with meany old Assad in Syria, beat ISIS, and foiled our plans for “regime change” and “bringing American democracy to the people of the Middle East.” Check.
The Russians arranged for wackos with assault rifles to shoot up our schools and malls, then fiddled with the climate, and that’s why Miami floods every time it rains. Check. The Russians are responsible for the citrus greening disease that is devastating the orange industry in Florida. Naturally.
Canny Putin is the baddest of bad guys on all the earth, the enemy of worldwide nicey-nice. And he’s SMART. What chance do we poor dumb blameless Americans have against nefarious Russian machinations? None. Check.