Translations. The Bestest of the Best, THREE: Goethe, Lermontov, Bowie, "Über allen Gipfeln," "Горные вершины," ALPINE MEADOWS

 

I sometimes think that Mikhail Lermontov's most beautiful poem is not his; it is his translation of a poem by Goethe: "Nightsong of a Wanderer, II." 

In The New Yorker (Nov. 13, 2017) the American poet Rita Dove took a stab at that same poem:

                                                   ABOVE THE MOUNTAINTOPS

Above the mountaintops
all is still.
Among the treetops
you can feel
barely a breath--
birds in the forest, stripped of song.
Just wait: before long
you, too, shall rest.

Here's the original German, side by side with D. Smirnov-Sadovsky's translation into Russian:

Д. Смирнов-Садовский: Smirnov-Sadovsky: Ночная песня странника II На вершине горной  Покой.  Зефир проворный  В лес густой  Бег не стремит. Птиц смолкли игривые споры,  И нас уж скоро  Сон осенит. <22 декабря 2006>

Гёте: Goethe: Wanderers Nachtlied II Über allen Gipfeln Ist Ruh, In allen Wipfeln Spürest du Kaum einen Hauch; Die Vögelein schweigen im Walde. Warte nur, balde Ruhest du auch. 1780

And here is the Lermontov free translation from 1840:

ИЗ ГЁТЕ

Горные вершины
Спят во тьме ночной;
Тихие долины
Полны свежей мглой;
Не пылит дорога,
Не дрожат листы…
Подожди немного,
Отдохнёшь и ты.
 
1840

 

Rita Dove's translation, for me, is barely even poetry. Lermontov's somewhat free translation is wonderful beyond words, probably even better than the original. Goethe's poem is rhymed; so are  Lermontov's and Smirnov-Sadovsky's. Modern poets often assume they need never use rhyme, that rhyme and meter are dated devices. But is that always true? No.

Age-old arguments about literary translation come to mind. Just how close is the translator obliged to stay with the original? When translating rhymed and metered poetry, should you strive for a rhymed and metered poem in the target language? While straining to maintain meter and rhyme, how does the translator avoid awkward passages in the target language? Etc.

Here's a literal translation of the Lermontov free translation from Goethe:

Mountain peaks,
Sleep in the dark of night.
Quiet meadowlands (valleys)
Full of fresh haze (mist).
No dust rises from the road,
The leaves do not shake. 
Wait just a moment,
You, too, will rest.
 

Here is Smirnov-Sadovsky's near-literal translation into English of the Lermontov:

 

 

The mountain heights Sleep in the darkness of night. The quiet valleys Are filled with a dewy haze. The road has no dust, The leaves do not shake… Wait awhile And you will have rest.

1840 (Transl. 14 March 2008, St Albans)

 

And here is U.R. Bowie's attempt to do, roughly, with Lermontov what Lermontov did with Goethe:

Alpine peaks quiescent
Sleep in the murk of night.
Meadow vapors deliquescent,
Bathed in mute moonlight.
Air on roads devoid of dust,
Leaves to silence acquiesced.
Hang on, ye of rot and lust,
Soon you, too, can rest.
 
                         February 6, 2018, Gainesville, Florida