Translation of Poem by Anna Akhmatova, "Приходи на меня посмотреть," COME AROUND; HAVE A LOOK AT ME

 

Anna Akhmatova
(1889-1966)

 

Приходи на меня посмотреть.
Приходи. Я живая. Мне больно.
Этих рук никому не согреть,
Эти губы сказали: «Довольно!»

Каждый вечер подносят к окну
Мое кресло. Я вижу дороги.
О, тебя ли, тебя ль упрекну
За последнюю горечь тревоги!

Не боюсь на земле ничего,
В задыханьях тяжелых бледнея.
Только ночи страшны оттого,
Что глаза твои вижу во сне я.

1912 г. (November?)

d

                                                    Literary Translation/Adaptation by U.R. Bowie

Come around; have a look at me: mayhem.
Look. I’m alive. I hurt. Life’s tough. 
See these hands, I have no one to warm them,
See these lips that have spoken: “Enough!”
 
They carry me on my recliner at gloaming
To the window; I look out at the roads.
Is it you who’s to blame for my anguish and groaning,
For the rancorous grief that my being corrodes!
 
On this earth there is nothing that scares me,
I gasp out deep breaths, I grow pale,
But I writhe in night sleep fitfully,
For in dreams your dread eyes mine assail.

 

c

 

Translator’s Note

 I have seen this poem dated tentatively as November, 1912. What could explain the narrator/heroine’s tone of distress and depression? Apparently deserted by her husband for long periods of time—he went off on long trips abroad—Anna Akhmatova gave birth to a son on October 1, 1912. Here she is alone again, and apparently in the throes of post-partum blues. She has not yet recovered from her confinement—note the detail about how she must be carried each evening in an armchair or recliner to look out the window. It is instructive to compare this poem with one she wrote a few months earlier, while pregnant, but also while alone: “Now I’ve learned simply and wisely to live.” See my translation of that poem (blog post on this same page).

 

                                                                          Max Ernst, 1940