DNTS
Dunkin
Dnts
(An
Example of the Logic of Abbreviation)
Some words are too long; they take
too long to say. On account of we take too long to say words, we lose valuable
time. Big words should be made shorter. One example of the logic of
abbreviation: the word “doughnut” should be contracted to “dnt” (pronounced dunt).
Here’s how it works. First, we put in an apostrophe for the “u,” leaving the
word doughn’t. Then, grunting a strenuous ugh, we can push out
three more unnecessary letters: “ugh,” get it? Leaving us with the word “don’t.”
But we don’t want don’t to mean doughnut, do we? Because “don’t”
already means don’t.
This problem is easily remedied.
The “o” in our abbreviated don’t represents the hole in the doughnut,
and since that hole contains nothing but empty space, we can easily dispense
with the letter “o,” leaving us with the ideal shortened form of “doughnut,”
namely dnt (pronounced dunt). Notice how much faster you can say
the word dnt, instead of doughnut.
If we all start using the word dnt
right now, soon everyone will be saying it. The word doughnut, being
superannuated and unnecessary, will disappear from the language and not be
missed. I had a delicious glazed dnt for breakfast this morning, although
normally I prefer chocolate cake dnts. My big sister likes sugar dnts most of
all, but my little brother does not like dnts; he says, silly he, that dnts don’t
taste good. He likes jellers (jelly rolls) and crmps (cream puffs). But my
little sister likes everything: jellers and dnts and crmps, and even vegetables
like trnps!
See how much time it saves you to
say shorter words! Start eating dnts instead of doughnuts today! Need to buy
some fresh ones? Best place to go is Dunkin Dnts.
No comments:
Post a Comment