Showing posts with label Mandelstam. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mandelstam. Show all posts

Monday, December 15, 2025

Poetry and Translation: the Hum and the Un-Hum (and the Ho-Hum)

                                                  Osip Mandelstam Listens to the Hum


Poetry and Translation: the Hum and the Un-Hum (and the Ho-Hum)

In her memoir Hope Against Hope—chapter titled “Professional Sickness”—Nadezhda Mandelstam (NM) expresses her views about the origins of genuine poetry, and the different origins of a lesser, inferior mode of literature, translated poetry.

“I imagine that for a poet auditory hallucinations are something in the nature of an occupational disease. As many poets have said—Akhmatova (in ‘Poem Without a Hero’) and M [Osip Mandelstam] among them—a poem begins with a musical phrase ringing insistently in the ears; at first inchoate, it later takes on a precise form, though still without words. I sometimes saw M trying to get rid of this kind of ‘hum,’ to brush it off and escape from it. He would toss his head as though it could be shaken out like a drop of water that gets into your ear while bathing. But it was always louder than any noise, radio or conversation in the same room.

“Akhmatova told me that when ‘Poem Without a Hero’ came to her, she was ready to try anything just to get rid of it, even rushing to do her laundry. But nothing helped. At some point words formed behind the musical phrase and then the lips began to move. The work of a poet has probably something in common with that of a composer, and the appearance of words is the crucial factor that distinguishes it from musical composition. The ‘hum’ sometimes came to M in his sleep, but he could never remember it upon waking. I have a feeling that verse exists before it is composed (M never spoke of ‘writing’ verse, only of ‘composing’ it and then copying it out). The whole process of composition is one of straining to catch and record something compounded of harmony and sense as it is relayed from an unknown source and gradually forms itself into words. The last stage of the work consists in ridding the poem of all the words foreign to the harmonious whole that existed before the poem arose. Such words slip in by chance, being used to fill gaps during the emergence of the whole. They become lodged in the body of the poem, and removing them is hard work. The final stage is a painful process of listening in to oneself in a search for the objective and absolutely precise unity called a ‘poem.’ . . . . . .

“I noticed that in his work on a poem there were two points at which M would sigh with relief—when the first words in a line or stanza came to him, and when the last of the foreign bodies was driven out by the right word. Only then is there an end to the process of listening in to oneself—the same process that can prepare the way for a disturbance of the inner hearing and loss of sanity. The poem now seems to fall away from the author and no longer torments him with its resonance. He is released from the thing that obsesses him. . . . If the poem won’t ‘go away,’ M said, it means that there is something wrong with it, or something ‘still hidden in it’—a last fruitful bud from which a new shoot might sprout. In other words, the work is not finished.

. . . . .

“The process of doing a translation is the exact opposite of work on original verse. I am not speaking here, of course, of the miraculous meeting of poetic minds that one finds in Zhukovsky, whose translations brought a new element [the Western Romantic Movement] into Russian poetry, or of other translated verse that has become a valid part of Russian literature—such as A.K. Tolstoy’s rendering of Goethe’s ‘Bride of Corinth,’ which we liked so much. Only real poets can achieve this kind of thing—and then very rarely. But an ordinary translation is a cold and calculated act of versification in which certain aspects of the writing of poetry are imitated. Strange to say, in translation there is no pre-existing entity waiting to be expressed. The translator sets himself in motion like an engine and then grinds out the required melody by a laborious mechanical process. He is deficient in what Khodasevich so-aptly called ‘secret hearing.’ A real poet should beware of translation—it many only prevent the birth of original poetry.” [Hope Against Hope, 1999 paperback, translation by Max Hayward, p. 71-74]

d

Questions and Semi-Rebuttals

I am far from convinced that the whole of a piece of verse “exists before it is composed,” and that the poet’s job is to coax it somehow out of the ether and onto paper. Then again, by far not all poets compose the way M did; example, Boris Pasternak, who, elsewhere in NM’s book is described as chained to his writing desk. For some perfectly fine poets the process involves writing down the thing at every stage of composition, not composing it all in your head while in perpetual motion, and not doing revisions in your head. And what about the process of rewriting drafts of a poem; do the ideas for making changes occur without the aid of the hum? We are not told if M went back to his written drafts and revised them from written copy, thereby bypassing, overriding the exquisite workings of the hum. I’m guessing that this is the way most writers work. Nikolai Gogol was a prose poet, and his magic number was eight. He usually needed about eight reworkings of successive written drafts, before arriving at a satisfactory final text.

This business of the hum recalls the old Romanic notion of the poet as amanuensis of the gods, who ostensibly guide his quill pen from on high. But since NM wrote her book modern neuroscience has made profound discoveries about how neurons work at the deepest level of the human brain. Certainly it is these neurons in the poet’s head that are producing the hum, or the competing hums, with one neuron fighting it out with another, to see whose hum (word) is the perfect choice.

The hum of the voices in the head also recalls what goes on inside the brain of a person with schizophrenia. Several years after coming to the U.S. my wife Natasha was afflicted with a mental illness. She heard inimical voices in her head, screaming obscenities in Russian. In the winter of 2007 she went on a pilgrimage back home, to the most venerable Russian Orthodox monastery, in Sergiev Posad. There she spent about a week, trying to cure herself through prayer and fasting, participating at one point in a mass exorcism ritual led by a certain renowned/notorious Father German.

Nothing helped; the voices went on raging. After that she took a train back to the south, where her parents and married sister lived, in Rostov-on-the Don. Her sister got her placed in a psychiatric ward, where she spent about four months. The treatment involved primarily shooting her full of Risperdal, an antipsychotic drug. When she was released from the hospital and returned to me in the U.S. she was walking stiffly, unable to swing her arms. The voices had gone quiet, but she was zombified.

The side effects to the antipsychotics were so severe that I encouraged her to stop taking the Risperdal. After she was off the drug for several weeks she began feeling stirrings in her brain. At first she described what she heard as a low hum. Then the humming got ever louder, until the point when the voices came back, and soon they were screaming obscenities again. This story has no happy ending.

d

What about literary translation of poetry? Is it to be disparaged to the extent that NM disparages it above? Since I myself have indulged in attempts to get Russian poetry over into English poetry, I feel somewhat humbled and chagrined by NM’s low opinion of literary translation. I have to admit, however, that a great deal of what she says makes sense. The process of translation does not normally involve inspiration from the deepest wellsprings of the brain, what she describes as the origins of her husband’s poetry. But sometimes—not often, but sometimes—the translator stumbles upon exactly the right way to come up with a fine poetic translation in English.

Lately I have been re-posting on my blog what I consider the most successful of my efforts to translate Russian poems (“the bestest of the best”). How did these poems become what I consider good poems in English, the target language? There was no hum in my head, churning out the words; I even rely to some extent, mea culpa, on rhyming dictionaries. But some combination of deep inspiration plus pure luck was surely at work when I turned out my best stuff in what I call literary translation/adaptation. Why do I add the word “adaptation” to what I do? Because I sometimes bend and twist the original in my efforts to make a real piece of poetry in English; I am not an adherent of the literal school of translation.


Friday, November 23, 2018

OSIP MANDELSTAM "Petropolis Dying" Петрополь Poem of 1918, Translation into English

Petrov-Vodkin, "Our Lady of St. Petersburg," 1918





Osip Mandelstam
(1891-1938)
PETROPOLIS POEM OF 1918

На страшной высоте блуждающий огонь
Но разве так звезда мерцает?
Прозрачная звезда, блуждающий огонь,
Твой брат, Петрополь, умирает.
На страшной высоте земные сны горят,
Зеленая звезда мерцает.
О, если ты, звезда — воды и неба брат,
Твой брат, Петрополь, умирает.

Чудовищный корабль на страшной высоте
Несется, крылья расправляет...
Зеленая звезда, в прекрасной нищете
Твой брат, Петрополь, умирает.
Прозрачная весна над черною Невой
Сломалась, воск бессмертья тает,
О, если ты, звезда, — Петрополь, город твой,
Твой брат, Петрополь, умирает.
Март 1918


Literal Translation

On the terrible heights there is a quavering light,
But can a star glimmer like that?
Transparent star, quavering light,
Thy brother, Petropolis, is dying.

On the terrible heights earthly dreams are burning,
A green star glimmers.
O star, if thou art the brother of water and sky,
Thy brother, Petropolis, is dying.

A monstrous ship upon the terrible heights
Races on, its wings widespread.
Green star, in beautiful poverty
Thy brother, Petropolis, is dying.

A transparent Spring above black Neva [River]
Is broken, the wax of immortality melts, 
O if thou, O star . . .  if Petropolis is thy city,
Thy brother, Petropolis, is dying.
March, 1918


Literary Translation by A.S. Kline

From a fearful height, a wandering light,
but does a star glitter like this, crying?
Transparent star, wandering light,
your brother, Petropolis, is dying.
From a fearful height, earthly dreams are alight,
and a green star is crying.
Oh star, if you are the brother of water and light
your brother, Petropolis, is dying.
A monstrous ship, from a fearful height
is rushing on, spreading its wings, flying -
Green star, in beautiful poverty,
your brother, Petropolis, is dying.
Transparent spring has broken, above the black Neva’s hiss,
the wax of immortality is liquefying.
Oh if you are star – your city, Petropolis,
your brother, Petropolis, is dying.

Literary Translation/Imitation by U.R. Bowie

Petropolis Dying

Upon the ghastly fearsome heights a quaver of fire-light,
But can it be a star so glitters, crying?
O star’s transparent hue, with shimmer dazzling bright,
Thy brother named Petropolis is dying.

Upon the frightful gruesome heights all earthly dreams are churning,
The greenness of that star-bright terrifying,
O star, if thou art brother to the sky and waters’ yearning,
Thy brother named Petropolis is dying.

A monstrous ship a-sail moves upon dim terror’s heights,
Its wings widespread, the mist-spray stultifying,
In destitution-green, O star, in hues of needy whites,
Thy brother named Petropolis is dying.

Transparent season Spring that sags above Neva’s black water
Is shattered now, immortal wax melts, sighing;
Behold, O star, thy precious Petrine world is rife with slaughter,
Thy brother, dear Petropolis, is dying.

March, 1918

(translated Autumn, 2018)


Translator’s Notes (U.R. Bowie)

The actual name of the city at the time this Mandelstam poem was written was Petrograd, so-named after the war against the Germans began in 1914. The original name, Sankt-Peterburg (St. Petersburg) sounded too German at a time when Germany was the enemy. After the war came the Socialist Revolution, and when Lenin died in 1924 the city was renamed Leningrad, only to revert to its original name after the collapse of the Soviet Union in the nineties. Throughout all of this turmoil and changing of names, residents of the city have referred to it fondly as simply Piter.

The line repeated at the end of each stanza can have (in some stanzas) either of two interpretations: (1) Thy brother [who is] Petropolis is dying; (2) Thy brother, O Petropolis [direct address to the city], is dying. I have tried to suggest this in the English by changing the line in the final stanza, which now embodies the ambiguity.
No human beings are mentioned in the poem, but, assuming the direct address to the city, the brother who is dying could be a generalized image of all the residents of St. Petersburg, or, conversely, could be an image of the poet himself, who is brother to the city. In her analysis of the poem (see below), Irina Surat remarks that the line repeated at the end of each stanza sounds like the poet addressing himself.

d

“Mandelstam is merry and contented. For tonight he has not only a roof over his head, a sofa to sleep on, sweet tea with molasses, but also someone to talk with. They will read verses to each other and carry on incessant, inspired and heartfelt nocturnal conversations—until morning. And tomorrow is a new day. Another insane and merry day . . . . All the days back then were merry. And, considering that this was the winter of 1920-1921, the merriment was tempered with insanity. Cold, hunger, arrests, executions. But the poets made merry and laughed in dying Petropolis, in ‘that transparent Spring that hung o’er the black Neva…’
                                       Irina Odoevtseva, On the Banks of the Neva, p. 32.

d

Selected Passages Paraphrased From Irina Surat, “The Poet and the City (The Petersburg Theme in Mandelstam),” published in the journal “Zvezda,” No. 5, 2008, in Russian.

The death of the city of St. Petersburg in this poem “is suffered through as the death of a living and dear creature, of a person, a brother.” A direct continuation of two poems featuring Petropolis from 1916, this poem was written at the beginning of March, 1918, in the days of the German air assault upon Petrograd. The poem is untitled in the original, but I give it the title “Petropolis Dying” in my translation (URB).
The image of the monstrous ship in the third stanza has broad implications. It recalls images of menacing ghost ships flying in any number of literary works, and it, together with the green star, has resonance with biblical passages from the Book of Revelation: “And the third angel sounded, and there fell a great star from heaven, burning as it were a lamp, and it fell upon the third part of the rivers, and upon the fountains of waters;/And the name of the star is called Wormwood: and the third part of the waters became wormwood; and many men died of the waters because they were made bitter./ . . . . And I beheld and heard an angel flying through the midst of heaven, saying with a loud voice, Woe, woe, woe to the inhabiters of the earth . . .”
Then again, the image of the monstrous ship a-sail in the skies over Petropolis is completely concrete, for the Germans were attacking the city in airplanes and blimps. In March, 1918, Aleksandr Blok wrote in his diary, “Petrov-Vodkin phoned while I was out. He said that today at 5:00 an airplane (German?) dropped bombs on the Fontanka, killing six persons.” On the fourth of March Blok wrote, “In the night I pulled aside the curtain and listened; the dull sound of a faraway explosion rang out (probably the Zeppelin that flew in yesterday).”
d

Here are Surat’s remarks in the original Russian:
Но теперь, в 1917—1918 годах переживается гибель Петербурга — уже очевидная, реально происходящая на глазах, она переживается как смерть живого, близкого существа, человека, брата. Прямое продолжение петербургского диптиха 1916 года в составе “Tristia” — стихотворение, написанное в начале марта 1918 года, в дни немецкого наступления на Петроград:
С первого стиха, с первого слова ясен масштаб трагедии: “на страшной высоте” — это и на очень большой высоте, и на той, что вызывает страх. Страшно еще и потому, что таинственный “блуждающий огонь” не похож на обычную звезду — “разве так звезда мерцает?”. “Прозрачная звезда, блуждающий огонь” — это явление смерти, и брат ее, Петрополь, умирает. Но в рефрене, четырежды повторенном в завершение каждой строфы, поэт как будто и себе самому говорит: “Твой брат, Петрополь, умирает”. Город был братом “воде и небу”, соединяя стихии жизни в образе архитектурной красоты (“Адмиралтейство”) — и вот стал братом смерти. Узнавая прежние образы петербургской лирики Мандельштама, мы можем ощутить единство и непрерывность сюжета — умирает тот самый город, прекрасный, некогда воспетый. “Прозрачная весна” — “сломалась”, каменный город сначала становится “прозрачным” (“В Петрополе прозрачном мы умрем…”), а затем и вовсе ломается, как что-то хрупкое. Узнается и “чудовищный корабль” — в “Петербургских строфах” с ним сравнивалась сама Россия, и вот теперь ее “чудовищный корабль” зловещим образом вознесся на “страшную высоту”, “несется, крылья расправляет”. Этот воздушный корабль и одновременно “зеленая звезда” — много в себя вобравший образ. Помимо источников литературных, поэтических (“Корабль призраков” Цедлица, “Воздушный корабль” Лермонтова), есть у него и библейский подтекст: “Третий Ангел вострубил, и упала с неба большая звезда, горящая подобно светильнику, и пала на третью часть рек и на источники вод. Имя сей звезде полынь; и третья часть вод сделалась полынью, и многие из людей умерли от вод, потому что они стали горьки” (Откровение св. Иоанна Богослова, 8:10—11).51 Эсхатологические ощущения ищут подтверждения, поэт как будто гадает, та эта смертоносная звезда или не та: “О, если ты звезда…”
Вместе с тем образ этот и вполне конкретен, он опирается на реальные впечатления жителя Петрограда начала марта 1918 года: в эти дни “над Петроградом стали появляться немецкие аэропланы, сбрасывавшие на город бомбы, о чем, в частности, извещала и ежедневная пресса. Именно это обстоятельство и отражено в стихотворении Мандельштама”.52 2 марта 1918 года Александр Блок записывает: “Без меня звонил Петров-Водкин. Говорит — сегодня в 5 час. аэроплан (немецкий?) сбросил бомбы — на Фонтанке убито 6 человек”.53 Но в 1918 году аэропланы были уже вполне привычны (“Летят стрекозы и жуки стальные”), уже не так поражали воображение, как новое германское оружие — военные дирижабли, тоже атаковавшие в те дни Петроград. 4 марта Блок записывает: “Ночью я отодвинул занавеску, вслушиваясь: раздался глухой далекий взрыв (вероятно, цеппелин, прилетевший вчера)”.54 С цеппелином связано ожидание катастрофы, он очень уязвим — достаточно попадания пули, чтобы наполненный водородом “чудовищный корабль” взорвался и сгорел. “На страшной высоте блуждающий огонь” — образ, быть может, связанный с гибелью цеппелина, смертоносный “воздушный корабль” и сам обречен, как обречен его “брат, Петрополь” — в смерти они братья. Здесь начало мандельштамовской темы “смерти в воздухе” — темы колоссального культурно-исторического и религиозного объема, получившей мощное развитие и завершение в “Стихах о неизвестном солдате”.55
“На страшной высоте блуждающий огонь…” — первое петербургское стихотворение Мандельштама, в котором совсем не присутствует человек, в связи с этим важно воспоминание Надежды Яковлевны: “Мандельштама мучила мысль о земле без людей. Она впервые появилась в обреченном городе Петербурге, а в Воронеже прорвалось еще в стихах о гибели летчиков”.56 И это первое петербургское стихотворение, в котором совсем не присутствует Пушкин, — как будто пушкинская душа города действительно умерла, погасло солнце, сто лет назад сиявшее всем.
“Воск бессмертья тает” — тему бессмертия Мандельштам соединяет с традиционным образом сгорающей свечи как символа человеческой жизни и смерти (“И в полдень матовый горим, как свечи” — “Лютеранин”, 1912; “Что ж, гаси, пожалуй, наши свечи” — “В Петербурге мы сойдемся снова…”, 1920). Здесь умирает не человек, а город, но умирает как человек, как брат, и все бессмертное, что он нес в себе, умирает вместе с ним.
Апокалиптическое видeние Мандельштама возникает на фоне петербургского голода и холода зимы и запоздалой весны 1918 года, на фоне всеобщего ожидания скорой, неотвратимой физической гибели города.57 Но мандельштамовское поэтическое ощущение превышает реальность. Поэту в его углубленном созерцании открывается истинный смысл происходящего, его “земные сны горят” “на страшной высоте”, и он в стихах ближе подходит к сути событий, чем самые точные газетные сводки. Это стихотворение для Мандельштама необычно — в нем нет внутреннего развития, зато есть цепь избыточных повторов, из-за чего оно звучит как плач, как похоронная песня. Поэт хоронит не Петербург, не Петроград, а именно Петрополь — поэтическую сущность города, его высшую реальность, его бессмертную душу.58







Dobuzhinsky Illustration to Dostoevsky's "White Nights"